Be my big brother
by The100fan4everxx
Summary: The conversation Bell and O should have had... Set in 6x03: Instead of leaving Octavia, Bellamy let's her on the ship and they talk things through.


"I didn't think you'd want to speak to me" Octavia Blake says coldly to her brother, Bellamy, who looks away from her.

"It's not by choice. Echo persuaded me" Bellamy tells her still not looking at me.

"Bell, I'm sorry. I never meant for it to get so out of control. I swear" Octavia rambles.

"It's a little late for apologies, O, I raised you better than that" Bellamy states looking at the woman whom he had raised from birth.

"I tried big brother. I really did" Octavia insists. "You could have tried harder, Octavia, do you know how many lives you've ruined?" Bellamy snaps.

"I couldn't possibly count. I've screwed up Bellamy, I'll admit it" Octavia says.

"Your admitting it? That's okay then everything is forgiven. It doesn't work like that Octavia. Mom died for having you, I risked my life to be with you, spent my whole childhood being a parent to a child I didn't ask for. How can that sweet little girl I loved with every single piece of my heart have fallen so far?" Bellamy asks as a tear slides down his cheek.

The two stare at each other and the tension and heartache is evident. Octavia sheds a few tears as Bellamy wipes a few from his own face.

"I needed you Bell, I didn't know how to be a leader. You were always the leader, I just wanted to make you proud, Bellamy. That's all I ever wanted" Octavia chokes as tears stream down her cheeks.

Bellamy digs his nails into the palm of his hand as he resists the instinct to go comfort his baby sister. He looks away from her again.

"I was proud, Octavia, so proud. You won the conclave, you wanted equality. That made me proud. You stood up for your people many times. You embraced a whole new culture. Even before we came to the ground I was proud of you" Bellamy admits turning to look at her again.

"Everything that came at you, you dealt with or adapted to it, you still do. I can't do that, Bell, I've tried and tried. Losing Lincoln broke me, the first person to love me for exactly who I was, if he were here..." Octavia trails off as the tears overwhelm her.

Bellamy digs his nails in harder still supressing his instinct.

"If he were here now? Lincoln would be disgusted with you O, so would mom" Bellamy spits.

"I know. I know. I failed them and I failed you. I don't wanna be a failure anymore, please help me Bell" Octavia sobs.

"Your beyond help, O" Bellamy says standing up and walking to the door.

"Wait, Bell, what would you say to me 6 years ago, if I had failed you?" Octavia asks.

"I would tell you that you could never fail me. We all make mistakes and I loved you no matter what and always would" Bellamy tells her honestly.

"What's so different now?" Octavia questions. "We are. Up on the ring, I had time to think, I came to terms with my mistakes and misplaced guilt. You turned into a cold heartless psychopath who seems incapable of love" Bellamy tells her.

"Bell, I love you. I need you, please, don't give up on me! I promise I can make it better, I'll do anything. Please, Bellamy" Octavia cries.

"What do you want me to do O?" Bellamy asks croakily. "I don't know. Be my big brother" Octavia says helplessly.

"Look, maybe, maybe you can redeem yourself. It'll take a lot of work, helping others, being selfless. If you really mean it, I can try be your brother again" Bellamy says reluctantly.

"I do mean it, Bell, 100%. I'll do anything" Octavia insists. "Okay. I'll try" Bellamy utters.

"Bell? What changed your mind?" Octavia asks curiously. "I don't know. Mom? Guilt? heck maybe even love. You forgave me, after losing Lincoln. It took you a little time but you came past it, I needed you back then and I didn't have you. I can't imagine you going through that and me not helping you. I don't forgive what you done O and I will never forget, but I gotta give you a chance, even though I may live to regret it" Bellamy explains.

"Have I really failed mom?" Octavia asks sounding childlike. "Mom loves you no matter one. She'll understand" Bellamy assures her.

"I missed you, Bell, so much" Octavia admits. "I missed you too, O" Bellamy confesses.

Octavia throws her arms around Bellamy hugging him tight. Bellamy stays still for a bit then hugs her back.


End file.
